Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Leif Analyzing Himself and What He Wanted in Woman

I don't know for which online dating service Leif wrote this, but I think he wrote may have written it in late 2007 or early 2008. Appended to the end of it was a "treatise" on dating that I found in a more complete and separate from saved as his "old" profile from 2004. Since I already posted that (look for "dating" in the keywords and you will find it), I am not adding that part here.

Leif was very impressed with the Myers-Briggs Personality Test. One time he sent me email saying he "just about lost it" when he found a Myers-Briggs website that described him to a "T." He was really thrilled that somewhere, someone understood what he was all about.

Leif was fond of saying that he was unemotional, and on the surface, that was usually true, at least once he got control of his emotions as a child, but still waters run deep and he was a very emotional man under that calm and cool exterior.

Leif was so smart that it was hard for him to find either men or women who could keep up with what he considered a "real" conversation, not small talk, but substance, repartee, information. He placed a very high value on people who could provide the kind of intellectual companionship and stimulation he wanted and needed, but they were not easy to find. Many people were intimidated by his breadth of knowledge and his ability to argue a point.

It seems like an odd coincidence to me that today I was seeing several of my Facebook friends taking a Facebook app version of the Myers Briggs test, and then finding this profile of himself that Leif wrote. So here he is in his own words. The photo was taken September 10, 2004.
INTJ Personality Profile

So Who am I? Well, first I am an INTJ. For those that have never taken the Myers Briggs personality test I highly recommend it. It will tell you a lot about yourself you likely did not consciously know. Just google "MBTI" to take the test and "INTJ" to find out what makes me tick.

I am an odd one. We only make up about 1% of the population. The short version is that I am an extremely analytical, but practical perfectionist that tends to look at life and everything as a problem to be solved and/or improved. Life fascinates me and ever since I was a kid I was always asking, "Why?" about just about everything. Failing to find answers to many questions I began to do what I do best and analyze the world myself.

I have come to realize many things via intuition and deduction that were never taught to me but just made sense. Often I would try to confirm such things with experts who would ask me where I learned them and they never believe me when I say I just figured them out myself. I tend to live most of my life inside my own head and at times people think I am anti-social or unfriendly. Neither are true; it's just that I am an introvert, so not very outgoing, and most often my mind is busy contemplating something like evolutionary biology and how it related to gender roles or some such thing that most people don't really want to talk about.

I have a hard time staying involved in small talk or discussions of who is winning the game on TV. What I am looking for in general is a mind that is as hungry for epiphany as mine, that is open enough to have their ideas challenged and to learn from those challenges and become wiser and more enlightened. Such souls are rare.

When it comes to a perfect relationship I think its about balance, finding a mate with complimentary characteristics so they are strong where you are weak to compensate for your shortcomings and weak where you are strong so you may feel needed and vital. Opposites attract but there must be commonality. I think the Yin Yang symbol illustrates this best; two halves, each containing a piece of the other, which allows for understanding but still complete opposites which balance each other and together form a complete circle.

For the common ground, to quote "High Fidelity", "It's not what YOU are like, its WHAT you like," meaning common interests. As to balance, what is my half? I am strong, masculine, intellectual, and analytical. I am rational, not emotional. I don't get stressed and am cool under fire. I am solid, stable, extremely honest ,and loyal. I am polite, courteous, and a gentleman. I am dominant in personality, but not domineering or controlling. I am protective, and passionate.

What am I missing and seek in my better half is feminine compassion, a woman that is perhaps a bit more giving, empathetic and accommodating than I tend to be in my relatively detached rational logic. Someone that is sweet and silly and unafraid to be herself the way that little kids are before they learn that they are supposed to be cool. I have found that cute silly misfits and lovable dorks are much more magnetic and attractive than any of the "cool" people.

I want a woman who knows what she wants and what she doesn't want and can recognize the deeper more valuable traits in a person beyond what is superficial, ephemeral, or fiscal. I would love a woman that knows what the word ephemeral means, or at least is curious enough to look it up. (Admittedly I only learned it from someone I dated a couple years ago).

I want a woman that I can sit down with at a Starbucks or a pub and discuss any range of advanced subjects from political philosophy, to sexual psychology, to quantum physics. A woman that can teach me something and is curious enough to be interested when I expound on the physics of traction and why front wheel drive cars suck.

I don't mind a woman being spiritual as long as she thinks for herself and doesn't let a church or an ancient book dictate her thoughts or morals without confirming t
hem from her own analysis. If you are a believer, that does not mean we are inherently incompatible, just know that I am a scientist and a philosopher and I will never blindly accept religious doctrine. Anyway, if you have read all of this and are still interested I would love to hear from you.

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