Leif and the Turtle in April 2008

There are still so many reminders of Leif all around me. Last Saturday we went for a walk and saw this big turtle making its way between ponds. The shell of this was was about 14 inches long.

On April 2, 2008, just a week before he died, Leif was sending me text messages about a turtle he rescued from the street. He said it was about the size of a large dinner plate. He didn't send me a picture of it, but I imagined it to be a lot like the one we saw.

Tonight I re-read all our text messages to each other in 2008, in the beginning because I wanted to find the ones about the turtle, but then I was hooked from the beginning. What all did we "talk" about . . . everything from the presidential political campaigns (he was for Obama) to school shootings, from computers to work, from his new-found love interest to my mother's Medicare Part D account, from his interview to work at USAA to getting lost on the USF campus. There was no hint anywhere that he would be gone, that he would shoot himself.

Leif was always self-contained and not a complainer, but still, not a hint of anything wrong.

Seeing the turtle made me think of those text messages, and when I mentioned them to his father, Peter said, "He could save a turtle, but he couldn't save himself." I've thought that, too.

This photo was a self portrait he took with his iPhone on March 7, 2008, the last photo of him I've found. It was on his phone. I'm guessing he took it to send to his new love interest.

We saw him a couple of weeks later on Easter, March 23, 2008, but I foolishly didn't take any photos. Our family sometimes overdoes it taking pictures, and I try not to be obnoxious about it. Now, I wish I had taken some.

Thanks for saving that turtle, Leif. How I wish you had saved yourself, too!

Why Doesn't the President Send Condolences to the Families of Troops Who Commit Suicide?

The link contained in the title of this post is well worth reading, an interview with the parents of a soldier who committed suicide during this second tour of duty in Iraq, and who found out that the President (due to longstanding policy, not a new one with Obama) doesn't sent condolences to the families of troops who commit suicide. That seems wrong to me, and very sad for families who are already dealing with the crushing blow of losing someone they love, someone who very likely would still be alive if they hadn't been in the military, and in a war.

Here is another article by the interviewer, "The War Condolences Obama Hasn't Sent," about the same case.

This young man's story is so like Leif's, only Leif was medically boarded out of the army because of his asthma and therefore wasn't sent to Iraq, only to Bosnia, but if he had been sent to Iraq, I don't think he would have survived it.

The suicide rate in the military and among veterans is climbing alarmingly. They are dying of anguish and their lives have been sacrificed on the altar of war and military training. A RAND study found that 20% of the troops that serve in Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from PTSD or depression, and I'd be willing to bet there are more that aren't detected or don't admit it . . . until it's way too late.

Those of us who don't serve in our armed forces and don't have to face multiple deployments to war zones should be very thankful, thankful there is no draft (but it there were, the burden would be shared), thankful someone else is willing to shoulder the burden and soldier on.

But let's value the lives of those who commit suicide, too. They have served.

I think Leif would feel strongly about this, about honoring the service of his fellow soldiers.

Inauguration

How I wish Leif had been here to hear Obama's inaugural speech. Leif was an early and enthusiastic supporter of Obama, registering for the first time as a Democrat so he could vote in the primary here in Florida, and enthusiastically voting for Obama last November. He would have embraced this speech and taken pride in this day, as do we.

Leif Predicted the Election of Obama

Last February, Leif sent me a text message predicting that Obama would win by a landslide. How I wish Leif were here to see it, to see the outstanding speech he gave.

Political Prediction from Leif about a Historic Candidate

I'm a night owl, so for me, it's still the historic night that Barack Obama accepted the nomination of the Democratic Party. I wish Leif had been here to see that, to watch his speech.

Leif was an Obama man. On February 19, 2008, he sent this text message to me:

"I am gonna bet that Obama is going to win and beat McCain by the biggest landslide since Nixon."

It's sad he won't be here to find out if his prediction comes true.

He was caught up in the campaign. It was one of the reasons I had begun to worry about him a little less. I liked to see him fired up about it, passionate. He loved to discuss it. He actually voted in the primary, something I had never known him to do before.

When Hillary Clinton was still ahead in the polls, he even wrote a long letter to her, explaining why she and Obama needed to stay civil and not begrudge each other, because he saw the dream ticket as the two of them.

This photo was taken in December 2007 when he was with us for Christmas. I wanted to post a photo taken close to when he sent his opinion about the race to us.