Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Leif - Self Portrait - December 31, 2002 - Manhattan, Kansas - Age almost 28

It was a gorgeous day today, 83 degrees and sunny, perfect for cycle riding, with BOB (big orange ball, as Leif called the sun) pleasantly warm and soft balmy breezes. Tonight there is a brilliant full moon in the sky. I always think of Leif if I go outside at night. I'm not sure why, whether it's because he was a night owl like me, or because of his love of space and science fiction. I'd like to think he could in some way enjoy this day, this evening, but he is not here.

The mind thinks of some odd thoughts. Today, as I was musing about BOB and Leif, I wondered how, if there is an afterlife, a spirit can "see" when it has no eyes. Would it sense things entirely differently?

This photo is one of the many self portraits Leif took and it was taken at the same time as the one he put on his MySpace page. It is still there. He will forever look 28. It was at the time when he was coming out of his depression, anticipating graduating from Kansas State University in the spring. He was more hopeful and optimistic. It was a good time. He liked to discuss politics and history, and was passionate about it. I wish he were here to discuss those things now.

The photo of the moon I took here in Florida, when it looked much as it did tonight. There is something about the moon that is calming and uplifting. I've now made it through eleven months since Leif died. I will always miss him, but I am beginning to enjoy the beauty around me again, at least at times.

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