Leif Would Have Loved It

Tonight I was looking online for birthday and Christmas gifts for my soon-to-be nine-year-old grandson, Marcus, and I couldn't help thinking how much Leif would have loved the things that are available today, particularly the computer games and the Nintendo DS and the games for it. If he were alive and had a boy of his own, he would have such a good time playing them with a son.

He had wonderful toys when he was a boy, too, particularly because of our three years in Japan. The Japanese shows and toys made it to Hawaii about the time we left Japan and followed us to the mainland USA, where he got interested in other things as well, like his radio-controlled model cars.

I still have so many of his computer games here, wondering what to do with them, ones he purchased as an adult. He loved the action, the simulations, the sci fi worlds he could inhabit.

Another thing I found on his computer was his iTunes subscription to marvelous photos taken by the Hubble space telescope. And Peter W. reminds me that Friday night was sci fi night on television, with his favorite shows.

His imagination soared. He found a creative outlet for it in his association with ZAON, but I wish he had done more on his own.

I remember shopping for gifts for him when he was a boy Marcus's age, and his delight in getting those gifts, how earnestly and devotedly he played with them, how thoroughly engaged he was.

He never outgrew those kinds of games, toys or gifts, in a sense; they just got more sophisticated (and expensive).

I was looking at the photos of him opening birthday gifts, remembering how much fun we had. Sometimes, in the sadness and mourning his loss, it's hard to remember that we had so many good times. I am so grateful for all the photos we took, because I will always be able to look at them and be reminded that there WERE good times, great times, happy times, for him as well as us and be glad for that. For every one of them.

We didn't know how good they were until they were gone. We appreciated our life and our family, but not enough. None of us really know the value of what we have until we lose it, no matter how much we love and are and are thankful for it.
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This rather pensive photo of Leif was taken in Osaka, Japan in February 1983. We were there because I was attending a conference of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, Japan District, and Peter W. came along with the boys and went signtseeing in Osaka while I was in the conference. Leif had just turned 8 years old. He still has the cast on his left arm from when he fell on the school playground and broke it.

Leif - Todaiji Temple - Nara, Japan - February 12, 1983 - Age 8

In February 1983, the organization I worked for, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, Japan District, held a conference in Osaka. While I was at the conference, Peter W. went sightseeing with the boys, and at the end of the conference, we took the train to the nearby city of Nara and visited the famous temples.

One of the most famous was Todaiji, said to be the largest wooden building in the world, which houses the Great Buddha of Nara, 15 meters tall. Also inside the temple are two huge support pillars which have holes cut through the bottom. People visiting the temple, especially children, crawl through them. Reputedly, they are "healing pillars" and making it through them guarantees a place in heaven.

Our boys had fun acting like they were stuck. There's Leif, age 8, doing his best to look caught. He is wearing an embroidered satin jacket Peter W. got in Korea for him.

You can see part of his cast. He still had it on for his broken arm. I wrote about that for his eighth birthday. Somewhere on the internet, I read that crawling through the pillar is also supposed to

It was a great trip with the boys. We had so many good times in Japan.

Now, with the internet, you can even see a video on YouTube of what must be an entire school class of Japanese kids waiting in line and crawling through one of the pillars.

Leif's 8th Birthday - Sagamihara, Japan - January 28, 1983 - Age 8

Leif's eighth birthday was the second one he spent with an injury. His first birthday, he had a burned hand, which I wrote about here long ago, and for his eighth birthday, he sported a cast on his arm. He had broken his arm during recess at school when he fell off the monkey bars.

When we lived in Sachsen bei Ansbach, Germany, before moving to Japan, my friend Bunny had observed that Leif was so able to withstand pain that "you could cut off his arm he and would say, 'that doesn't hurt.'" That was obviously an exaggeration, but there was a very large grain of truth in it. Leif could stand physical pain, though he didn't do as well with the sight of blood. He maintained a bravado that hid his vulnerable feelings, so he seemed very tough, even though his photos betray his innocence and vulnerability.

One day at school, that January 1983, after he fell on the playground, he simply went back to class for the rest of the day. He was supposed to take the bus from the school, where he was a second grader, to the child care center, because at that time I was working full time for the Japan Engineer District and didn't get home until after five.

That day, when school got out, he went to the office and calmly asked to use the phone. He called me at my office and just said, "Mommy, can you come and get me?" I asked him why, whether he had missed the bus. "No," he said, "I think I broke my arm."

Before I could get any more details out of him, he hung up. I didn't even know where he was. He hadn't told his teacher or anyone else that his arm was broken. He had just stayed in class all afternoon and done his work.

I was really worried and didn't know where to find him, but on the chance that he probably had called from school, since that's where he would get the bus, I called the school and asked if they had seen him in the office. They said they had, but they had no idea about any broken arm. They had to go out to the bus stop to find him.

Meanwhile I called Peter W., who rushed over there to get him. And there he is, with his cast on his arm, blowing out his candles.

The second photo shows Peter W. acting silly, like a sci fi monster, and Leif's friend Atul is with him.

Leif is wearing a jacket that Peter got for him in Korea.

Happy Birthday, Leif!