Leif's Military Honors Ceremony Conclusion - April 29, 2009 - Bay Pines National Cemetery

The gun salute and playing of "Tap"s actually came before the folding and presentation of the flag, but they seem to me to be the fitting end to the ceremony. When I was a Girl Scout, we used to sing a song to the tune of "Taps" that went like this:

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.

There are more verses but that is the only one we sang as we held hands at the end of our meetings, having taken down and folded the American flag. When I sang it as a child, it was a beautiful, comforting song, but now it seems infinitely sad to me. I will never hear it again without thinking of Leif's death and memorial service, or of all the veterans who are laid to rest in our cemeteries for whom "Taps" is played.

At the end of the ceremony, we were a little confused about who was going to take Leif's urn to the niche. Peter W. initially picked it up and started to walk with it, but there was still a bit left of conclusion of the ceremony. The soldiers walked it over to the columarium and gave it to Peter Anthony, who placed it in the niche. That was very hard to see and I don't know if it was hard for him to do. His military bearing was impeccable. Those of us who wanted to touch the box one more time did so, and when we were done, one of the cemetery employees fastened the granite faceplate on the niche. That plate was blank except for a printed strip with Leif's rank and name on it. The engraved plate came several weeks later.

The first plate they put on the niche didn't list Leif's service in Bosnia. We noticed that the other plates listed service in combat zones or war service, so we asked them to add it.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, after the niche had been sealed, we left for the St. Petersburg Unitarian Universalist Church. i knew that my Leif, my lively, handsome son, was not in that box, but only his earthly remains, but it was and is still hard for me to know that I will never see or touch it again. However, unlike some people, I didn't want to keep the urn at home. I didn't think it was a healthy choice, and I wanted him to be in a national cemetery with full military honors. It was the right choice.

April 29, 2008 - Military Honors Ceremony - Folding and Presenting the Flag and Ceremonial Shell Casings

At the committal shelter, the honor guard had first placed the folded flag on the platform against Leif's urn and saluting before offering us the opportunity to participate. After we did, they performed a rifle salute, firing three guns, and a bugler played taps. I will post those photos tomorrow because they seem to go fittingly with the end of the ceremony.

Then they unfolded the flag and did the folding ceremony and passed the flag to Peter Anthony, who gave it to me with the words they had told him to use, "This flag is presented to you with the thanks of a grateful nation for the service of your son. May he rest in peace." I don't know how hard it was for him to do that, but he did it beautifully. I was crying.

What I didn't expect was what came next. One of the honor guard soldiers came and leaned over to me and put three ceremonial shell casings into my hand and said, "These represent duty, honor, country." He closed my hand over them and saluted.

The flag and the shell casings are now in the beautiful flag case that Melissa Palenske gave us, with the engraved plate she made for it. I posted photos of it earlier.
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This honor guard is one of many in the USA. They are all trained to exacting standards and use the same ceremony as the one at Arlington National Cemetery. They travel to many place, serving several counties. They are professional and caring. I can't imagine how hard it must be to do so many of these ceremonies, day after day, for grieving families. Many thanks to Sgt. Paul and his honor guard unit for doing this duty for us.

Leif Garretson - Military Honors Flag Case

This beautiful flag case was sent to us by Leif's friend, Melissa Palenske. It holds the full size casket flag that was folded by the Honor Guard at Leif's inurnment service at Bay Pines National Cemetery on April 29th, and his military insignia. Melissa is an engraver and she personally made the engraved plate on the middle of the bottom of the case. The inscription reads:

In Memory of
Leif A. Garretson
1975 - 2008
Served His Country With Honor
1998 - 2001

The flag was presented to me at the ceremony by Leif's brother, LTC Peter A. Garretson, U.S. Air Force.

His father, LTC Peter W. Garretson, U.S. Army, Retired, put together the insignia in the lower shadowbox part of the case.

It is a beautiful memorial for Leif, and we are glad to have it at home with us.

The Last Touch - The Last Goodbye

I don't think there is ever really a last goodbye. We all keep Leif in our memories, and there will never be a goodbye that is final, but this photo was the last time I could touch his urn. I know he wasn't there, just his ashes, but it's all we had left of the physical presence of our son.

I don't want to post photos of the military honors service or the memorial service because I don't post photos of other people without their permission, and grief is very personal. I also don't want this blog to be just about Leif's death and last services, but about the life he had and our memories of him, but it's impossible not to acknowledge that there was a day of services to honor his passing.

On April 29, 2008, Leif was inurned at the Bay Pines National Cemetery with full military honors, and a memorial service was held at the St. Petersburg Unitarian Universalist Church.

One photo is of me touching his urn before they sealed the niche at the cemetery.

The other is the table at the front of the church where his memorial service was held. The beautiful leis and ti leaves were sent by dear friends in Hawaii. The composite of photos of his life was made by Leif's sister-in-law, Darlene. The stand to hold the photo was made by his friend, Michael. The infantryman plaque was made by his father, and the triangle-folded flag is the one given to me at the military ceremony. We have it in a beautiful flag case sent to us by his friend Melissa, and we will add his military insignia and awards to it. The wooden box used as his urn was decorated with military insignia by his father. If he has a photo of it that doesn't include any person, I will post it later.

The circle stand on the table is the Unitarian Universalist flaming chalice, which is lighted at the beginning of services and extinguished at the end.

We are grateful to our family and friends, Leif's friends, and our wonderful neighbors for their help, love and support through these hard times.