Leif's Military Honors Ceremony Conclusion - April 29, 2009 - Bay Pines National Cemetery

The gun salute and playing of "Tap"s actually came before the folding and presentation of the flag, but they seem to me to be the fitting end to the ceremony. When I was a Girl Scout, we used to sing a song to the tune of "Taps" that went like this:

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.

There are more verses but that is the only one we sang as we held hands at the end of our meetings, having taken down and folded the American flag. When I sang it as a child, it was a beautiful, comforting song, but now it seems infinitely sad to me. I will never hear it again without thinking of Leif's death and memorial service, or of all the veterans who are laid to rest in our cemeteries for whom "Taps" is played.

At the end of the ceremony, we were a little confused about who was going to take Leif's urn to the niche. Peter W. initially picked it up and started to walk with it, but there was still a bit left of conclusion of the ceremony. The soldiers walked it over to the columarium and gave it to Peter Anthony, who placed it in the niche. That was very hard to see and I don't know if it was hard for him to do. His military bearing was impeccable. Those of us who wanted to touch the box one more time did so, and when we were done, one of the cemetery employees fastened the granite faceplate on the niche. That plate was blank except for a printed strip with Leif's rank and name on it. The engraved plate came several weeks later.

The first plate they put on the niche didn't list Leif's service in Bosnia. We noticed that the other plates listed service in combat zones or war service, so we asked them to add it.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, after the niche had been sealed, we left for the St. Petersburg Unitarian Universalist Church. i knew that my Leif, my lively, handsome son, was not in that box, but only his earthly remains, but it was and is still hard for me to know that I will never see or touch it again. However, unlike some people, I didn't want to keep the urn at home. I didn't think it was a healthy choice, and I wanted him to be in a national cemetery with full military honors. It was the right choice.

A Year Has Passed Since Leif's Memorial Services on April 29, 2009

It's so hard to believe that a year ago today we gathered at Bay Pines National Cemetery for Leif's military honors ceremony and inurnment. It was a beautiful spring day, just like today, the kind of day he would have been out riding his cycle if he were alive and free.

We were a small gathering of family and friends, just 29 of us, a fraction of those who were with us in spirit that day, whether on the vigil of the ZAON forums or around the country and the world, who could not join us. We were immensely grateful for those who were with us on that sad, hard day.

Leif identified himself as a warrior. Being a soldier was a major part of his identity, and it was fitting and right that he was honored as a veteran and inurned with his brothers in arms. Bay Pines is a beautiful place, but it is also an infinitely sad place for me.

In the coming days I will post more about this ceremony and the church ceremony that followed it. These photos were taken before ceremony started. The first one shows Leif's father, Peter W., carrying the "urn," the wooden box that he decorated with Leif's military insignia. It holds all the earthly remains of our son, a box that wouldn't have begun to contain him even as a newborn baby.

We had to deliver the urn to the cemetery office so that the honor guard could take it and have it in place at the place of remembrance before we all gathered there.

The second photo is of us, Leif's parents, walking from the cemetery office to greet those who had come for the ceremony.

The third photo is one of the entire group of us, except for Dave Keesey, who took the group photo for us.

The fourth photo is Leif's three best friends from the early 1990s, Michael, Nikko (who was also the only wife Leif had), and Jason. Leif met Jason his senior year in high school, 1992-1993. Jason came from Manhattan, Kansas to be with us for the services. Nikko came all the way from Germany where she was serving in the U.S. Army. She and Leif met the summer of 1994 (I think it was 1994 and not 1993). MIchael met Leif in 1993 at Kansas State University. Michael came from central Florida to be with us. He had helped us to clear out Leif's apartment and much more. Leif would have been very touched to know they cared enough to be there.

From our gathering outside the cemetery office, we went to the small place of remembrance where there were benches under a covered area open on the sides to begin the ceremony.