Showing posts with label flag case. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flag case. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A Brotherhood Leif Understood


















Yesterday we had a technician here to do the annual maintenance on the air conditioning system. When he was finished, Peter told him to go into my office where I was writing a check for the service. He immediately noticed the flag case with the folded flag, the ceremonial shell casings and Leif's photos and insignia. He could have chosen to ignore it. He could have said nothing, but he didn't. He said, "Did you lose a son?"

I was surprised. I'm not used to that happening. I keep Leif's photo, the flag case and the memorial candles from Darlene and Marcus and Cordula and her family in my office, not on "public" display in the living room, so it's rare than anyone but a family member sees them. It's a private area for private feelings. But here he was, this stranger, who recognized what that flag case meant and asked me about it. I told him yes, but that he was not killed in battle. I didn't go into detail. In his own way, Leif was killed in battle, his battle with his own demons, his loneliness, his problems. I just said he was a disabled vet. I didn't have to say more.

This man expressed condolences and said he had been in the army for 8 years, had been to Afghanistan. He recognized Leif's insignia, said, "Tenth Mountain Division, right?" He said he had been part of a medevac team and told a little bit about it.

Leif would have liked to talk to him, would have liked to have shared stories with a brother in arms. He would have respected anyone who did medical evacuations.

I hope this young man is whole in body and soul and not suffering from PTSD or depression. I thank him for noticing my son and saying something. It brought tears to my eyes, partly out of a wave of sadness, and partly out of a feeling of some kind of gratitude that someone had noticed Leif and talked to me about it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Rambling Memories


There are nights when I don't know what to write, when my mind seems to go off in too many different directions, or when I can't find the right photo to go with what I want to say. I started out looking at more of the things Leif wrote in high school and college, and wishing I had more of them, but realized that wasn't really what was on my mind.

I thought this evening about how many years of my life were influenced by Leif; eighteen years raising him to adulthood, and another two while he was still living at home and going to college before he moved out to live with Nikko and eventually get married in October 1995 at the age of twenty. I thought about all the experiences we had together, how I taught him, and eventually, how he taught me. I thought about the things he loved, and the things he hated. I thought about all the times we took him on trips, both as a child and as an adult, and what good company he could be, and usually was . . . unless he was in one of his uncommunicative moods, but luckily those were not frequent.

I thought about all the talents he had that he never had the desire to pursue and all the ideas he had and loved to talk about. I thought about how he would spend hours trying to make a report or paper as short and concise as possible so that it would only barely fulfill the length requirements set by the professor or teacher, not because he lacked the information or knowledge to make it longer but because he didn't want to be verbose. He could have been done with them far quicker if he hadn't continued to condense and condense.

I thought about tutoring him in algebra, Spanish and German, the first two in both high school and college, because he was used to things coming easily to him that he hated to study and didn't really know how.

I thought about listening to him play his electric guitars, trying to emulate the sounds of his favorite guitarists.

I thought about him singing the part of Kenicke in "Grease" with all the girls going wild.

I remember the day he brought me my Nokia cell phone in a cute little bag and proceeded to set it up for me. And the time he got my mother her first cell phone (with my financial help) and surprised her with it for Christmas,

There are so many memories, thirty-three years of them, mostly good, some frustrating, some dismaying, but all-in-all, how much he enriched our lives (not financially, but emotionally and intellectually), and even with much humor and fun. I look around this room alone and see the office furniture that he and Peter W. put together for me, the computer he left behind, the monitor he set up for me, his photo albums, the flag case from Melissa with his casket flag and military awards, the book he posed for the cover for, and so much more.

Our lives were intertwined, as all close families are, and even now that he is gone, there is no day, no part of a day, that we don't think of him.

I wonder if he had any idea how important he was to us, how deep an impact he had on our lives, what a tremendous hole his death has left, how much we will always love him. Surely he could not have known that and left us like that . . . or was his life just too miserable to endure despite it? I cry for him, that it was so.
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This photo of Leif was taken at a lake in Japan in 1980 when he was five years old.

Friday, May 1, 2009

April 29, 2008 - Military Honors Ceremony - Folding and Presenting the Flag and Ceremonial Shell Casings






At the committal shelter, the honor guard had first placed the folded flag on the platform against Leif's urn and saluting before offering us the opportunity to participate. After we did, they performed a rifle salute, firing three guns, and a bugler played taps. I will post those photos tomorrow because they seem to go fittingly with the end of the ceremony.

Then they unfolded the flag and did the folding ceremony and passed the flag to Peter Anthony, who gave it to me with the words they had told him to use, "This flag is presented to you with the thanks of a grateful nation for the service of your son. May he rest in peace." I don't know how hard it was for him to do that, but he did it beautifully. I was crying.

What I didn't expect was what came next. One of the honor guard soldiers came and leaned over to me and put three ceremonial shell casings into my hand and said, "These represent duty, honor, country." He closed my hand over them and saluted.

The flag and the shell casings are now in the beautiful flag case that Melissa Palenske gave us, with the engraved plate she made for it. I posted photos of it earlier.
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This honor guard is one of many in the USA. They are all trained to exacting standards and use the same ceremony as the one at Arlington National Cemetery. They travel to many place, serving several counties. They are professional and caring. I can't imagine how hard it must be to do so many of these ceremonies, day after day, for grieving families. Many thanks to Sgt. Paul and his honor guard unit for doing this duty for us.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Leif Garretson - Military Honors Flag Case


This beautiful flag case was sent to us by Leif's friend, Melissa Palenske. It holds the full size casket flag that was folded by the Honor Guard at Leif's inurnment service at Bay Pines National Cemetery on April 29th, and his military insignia. Melissa is an engraver and she personally made the engraved plate on the middle of the bottom of the case. The inscription reads:

In Memory of
Leif A. Garretson
1975 - 2008
Served His Country With Honor
1998 - 2001

The flag was presented to me at the ceremony by Leif's brother, LTC Peter A. Garretson, U.S. Air Force.

His father, LTC Peter W. Garretson, U.S. Army, Retired, put together the insignia in the lower shadowbox part of the case.

It is a beautiful memorial for Leif, and we are glad to have it at home with us.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Last Touch - The Last Goodbye



I don't think there is ever really a last goodbye. We all keep Leif in our memories, and there will never be a goodbye that is final, but this photo was the last time I could touch his urn. I know he wasn't there, just his ashes, but it's all we had left of the physical presence of our son.

I don't want to post photos of the military honors service or the memorial service because I don't post photos of other people without their permission, and grief is very personal. I also don't want this blog to be just about Leif's death and last services, but about the life he had and our memories of him, but it's impossible not to acknowledge that there was a day of services to honor his passing.

On April 29, 2008, Leif was inurned at the Bay Pines National Cemetery with full military honors, and a memorial service was held at the St. Petersburg Unitarian Universalist Church.

One photo is of me touching his urn before they sealed the niche at the cemetery.

The other is the table at the front of the church where his memorial service was held. The beautiful leis and ti leaves were sent by dear friends in Hawaii. The composite of photos of his life was made by Leif's sister-in-law, Darlene. The stand to hold the photo was made by his friend, Michael. The infantryman plaque was made by his father, and the triangle-folded flag is the one given to me at the military ceremony. We have it in a beautiful flag case sent to us by his friend Melissa, and we will add his military insignia and awards to it. The wooden box used as his urn was decorated with military insignia by his father. If he has a photo of it that doesn't include any person, I will post it later.

The circle stand on the table is the Unitarian Universalist flaming chalice, which is lighted at the beginning of services and extinguished at the end.

We are grateful to our family and friends, Leif's friends, and our wonderful neighbors for their help, love and support through these hard times.